Second Chances
by LouBird92
Summary: I really suck at summaries. Two lovers that haven't seen each other for 9 years but one day something unexpected happens that forces them to come face to face. At the moment it is K  but it will turn into T and then possibly M at a later date.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, So this is my first ever fan fic. Please read and review, any help would be great. I decided that I would like to shake Castle up a little and see what would happen if they knew each other before the Alison Tisdale Case after I saw a youtube video by Evangeline. If you would like the link msg me and i will happily send it to you. I have written a few stories before this but never has anyone other than myself have read them so this is a big leap for me. I hope you enjoy, the 3rd chapter is already written and the 2nd chapter is halfway there will try to update asap.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Kate Beckett. One of NYPD's best homicide detectives finds herself more at home in the bullpen of the 12th precinct with her team; Detectives Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan. Kate has had some true horrors in her past including the murder of her mother, the wrath of an alcoholic father, who thanks to her is now sober. Beckett isn't a stranger to heartbreak either; as a teen she dated a couple of guys, never anything serious but the betrayal she felt when each relationship ended made her trust harder to gain and a wall build around her heart. As a cop, guys never stuck around too long, either because the stress of loving someone who may not come home alive each night was too much, her long hours broke them apart or because her heart really belonged to someone else and was not fully in the relationship. For her no break-up was worse than the one and only Richard Castle. She was head over heels in love with him, she was certain he was her one and done, her night and shining armour come to slay the dragon that broke her family.

Richard Castle. The master of the macabre with celebrity status as great as his, he always seemed at home in a crowd full of fans screaming his name, bimbettes and celebutantes fawning all over him and a life full of scandalous endeavours plastered all over page 6. This wasn't right, this wasn't the real Rick Castle and only a few selected people knew the other side of him, his daughter Alexis, mother Martha and the only other person he truly loved, Kate Beckett. By the time he met Kate, he had two marriages and divorces under his belt and a six year old daughter by his side. At 15 years old, Alexis doesn't really remember Kate, she only remembers living with another girl that wasn't her Grams and being upset when she left. As a parent, Rick tried to protect his daughter from his love life, never introducing her to women as she was growing up, he still does it now. He introduced Kate to Alexis and was shocked to see how quickly Alexis became attached to her and how quickly such a young women adapted to becoming a mother and sister figure Kate became to his daughter.

The two of them haven't seen each other since the break up but knowing how much she loved the two books he had published at the time, he sent her an advance copy of each new book all autographed with a personal message on the back of the dedication page to keep her collection complete. There were only a couple of books that he received a hand written Thank-you note but not very many. Until an something unexpected surprised them both in March of 2010, 9 years later.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is Chapter 2 already. I thought I had chapter 3 already done but it turns out it is going to be about chapter 4 maybe 5. I really hope you are enjoying this story. I may not get another chapter done for a couple of days so here is chapter 2.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

In the late hours of the night Detective Beckett and her team were called to the murder of a young social worker, Allison Tisdale. The body was laid out peacefully; covered modestly in rose petals with giant sunflowers on her eyes.

Detective Beckett circled around the body getting details about their victim from Detective's Ryan and Esposito.

"He knew her" Beckett gathered just by looking at the body.

"Even bought her flowers" came from Lanie, the ME on the case, as she walked through the doors to examine the body and fill out her preliminary report "Who says romance is dead" the ME continued.

Looking towards her best friend Beckett whispered "I Do, every Saturday night"

"A little lipstick wouldn't hurt" Lanie's sarcasm wasn't missed by the detective as she shot her a disapproving look "I just saying" came from Lanie as a defence raising an eyebrow at her favourite detective and the turned towards the body.

"So, what did he give her besides roses?" Kate asked getting straight back into cop mode. Moving a couple of the rose petals with tweezers, Lanie answered the detective's question "Two shots to the chest, Small calibre".

Beckett looked curiously at the body as she moved around it and up to the victims head. She stopped, raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her and kept circling a little further. Stopping again but on the other side of the victim she looked up to her team "Does this look familiar to anyone?"

Both detectives looked slightly confused at their bosses and friends question replying "No" in sync. "But I'm not the one with the thing for freaky ones. Just give me a Jack shot Jill over Bill, so I can go home" Esposito continued .

"Oh, but the freaky ones require more; they reveal more. Look at how he left her…" Now she was not only speaking to the two detectives in the room but the ME started listening "covered, modestly. So, despite the effort, all of the preparation, you won't find any evidence of sexual abuse." Looking slightly confused Esposito raised an eyebrow at his boss "You really get all that from just this?"

Beckett looked towards her team "This, plus I've seen this before"

Genuinely confused, Ryan asks "You've seen this before? Where?" Lanie's curiosity was getting the better of her as she looked up from her preliminary report to hear Beckett's answer.

A small smile appeared on the female detectives lips. "Roses on her body, sunflowers on her eyes?" Now looking at the boys with an expression saying 'does it ring a bell' but the boys just look more confused than ever. Beckett couldn't believe they didn't recognise the scene; "Don't you guys read?" she asked with a hint of frustration.

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><p>Completely oblivious to Allison Tisdale's murder, Richard Castle was at the launch party of his latest book, Storm Fall, in which nobody could believe he killed the main character. Most of his book launch parties consisted of the same activities, signing books, giving speeches and the infamous signing breasts (an activity that he had become well known for among the ladies). He'd flitted around the party all night, conversed with fans, his agent Paula and his publisher and blood sucking ex-wife number 2 Gina. Now, he was talking to his daughter, who was doing homework, and his mother, who was on the prowl at the bar.<p>

"Did you tell Gina I was having trouble writing, mother?"asked a slightly frustrated Castle.

"I told her nothing of the sort. I may have said something about you spending your days moping in your underwear"

"We had a deal, I let you live with us but you don't talk about my work." Alexis was now listening from where she was sitting, taping the bar with her pen "Gram" she said a little disapprovingly.

Martha then spotted an unmarried gentleman in the crowd and took off leaving Rick and his daughter together. "Do you know why I killed of Storm?" he randomly asked Alexis and she shook her head. Rick continued once he knew she was listening "Because I knew exactly what was going to happen. It's just like these parties, they've become so predictable. Just once I'd like something different to happen." Unbeknown to him, Detective Beckett and her boys were just about to approach him from behind.

Becket knew this was going in be hard. She hadn't seen him since he broke her heart 9 years ago. 'Please don't make a scene, please don't make it a big deal in front of EVERYONE!' where the words going through her head as she approached him.

She saw his back and then saw past him to the young red headed teen he was talking to 'Oh my, could that possibly be Alexis. She has grown so much' was her next thought.

She stopped just behind him reaching for her badge "Mr Castle" were the words that came out of her mouth, she just hoped that they didn't waiver as much as she thought they had. Castle recognised the voice but couldn't put a name or face to it. He did know it had been a long time since he had heard it, but recognising that it was a women he grabbed a pen out of his pocket and as he spun around he spoke "Where would you like….." all of a sudden seeing who she was he stopped, dropped the pen and his expression went from fake flirtatious, to excitement, to shocked and then she saw something in his eyes that used to be there "Kate!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, First of all, Thank you for all the reviews, I will try to get back to you all individually when I have more time but at the moment I'm thanking you all collectively.  
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**This chapter wasn't as long as what I hoped it was going to be. But Uni, Work and Performances have been taking most of my time over the last couple of days. I hope to have chapter 4 finished by tomorrow night and have it typed and uploaded by the day after. I hope you like it, You know what to do, Read and Review.**

**And here is Chapter 3  
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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Castle was standing at the bar watching his past flash before his eyes; pictures of his two girls running around Central Park playing in the Autumn leaves, camp outs on his living from floor that turned into steamy make out sessions after Alexis was put to bed, that first amazing night together (and many more afterwards) and then a picture of a devastated Kate when he told her the news of the new book deal and Black Pawn wanting him to leave for a year for "research" and her walking out of the loft before he had a chance to explain to her that he had told them No and that he had a life and family that he didn't want to leave behind; knowing full well that she wouldn't leave New York.

"Mr. Castle"

"Dad"

Both of the names he responds to were said in sync broke him out of his day dream of memories. Apparently they had been trying to get his attention for a few minutes.

Kate caught a glimpse of her ex-lovers beautiful eyes and she almost went weak at the knees. Almost

"Mr Castle" she called but at the same time she heard a teenage Alexis call "Dad" That seemed to gain his attention.

She saw Castle take a step towards her as she hesitantly stepped back shooting him a look that hopefully said not now. The female detective saw the hurt in the writer's eyes but also saw he went in to 'business mode' immediately.

"Mr. Castle, I'm Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. I need to ask you some questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight" Kate saw the realisation of her not wanting to give away their past to her team and he answered her question as if he was speaking to any other member of the NYPD.

"Of Course Detective, would you like me to go with your pretty self to the station or you can ask away in the privacy of one of the conference rooms here?"

Unfortunately Ri…. Mr. Castle, we are going to have to take you downtown. Is there anyone here that can take Alexis home?"

Ryan and Esposito became immediately confused. Was that concern in her voice? How did Richard Castle know her name before the routine introduction? Why was she concerned about the teen that was clearly capable of taking care of herself for an hour or so? But the interesting question was how on earth did she know the kids name?

Alexis heard her name mentioned in the conversation between the detective and her dad but wondered how the detective knew her name. She put it down to her being another fan of her dad's books and reading it in the papers and went back to her studying.

"Just let me call Mother"

Turning in search of Martha he runs off when he spots her in the crowd "Mother, can you take Alexis home, I need to accompany these lovely detectives to the station."

He stated pulling Martha away from the handsome gentleman she was conversing with. Stopping in front of the bar Alexis looked confused at something; looking from her to the Detectives Martha realised why. The female Detective was looking at Alexis like a proud mother and slight disappointment was there too.

"Kate?" Martha stated, "You look well, kiddo"

Rick kicked his mother gently and gave her a stern look. Beckett just rolled her eyes and offered Martha a hand to shake which she gracefully accepted, realising a hug would not be appropriate at this time. "Of course darling. Now you behave yourself for these people" Nodding at his mother and kissing his daughters orange hair, Rick looked towards Kate and the other detectives ready to leave.

Alexis was still sitting at the bar confused, whispering so only one set of ears could hear her "Grams, How do you and dad know the Detective, how does she know my name and why was she looking at me more caringly than my own mother?"

Martha looked away from the now exiting detectives and writer to her granddaughter"You don't remember Kate?"

At the shake of Alexis head the older red head continued "Kate was a big part of all our lives when you were little. But it is not my place to say, you need to ask your father to tell you the story when he gets home" looking sullen at the fact that Alexis can't remember the magnificent woman that was a part of their family, Martha turned to walk away "Continue on with your study kiddo, we'll leave in about an hour."

Sensing that the story of Kate will be an important one Alexis didn't press the subject, nodded her head and continued to read and take notes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys, sorry for the wait. Now most of this chapter was written at 3:00 this morning after I woke up to find my best friend had her baby 15 weeks early and he will be touch and go for 2 months and couldn't go back to sleep. So please excuse any silly mistakes written, I was tired when I wrote the first half and pretty much shattered when I wrote the second half. This is not where I expected the story to go yet but it did take on a life of its own.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

On the way back to the precinct, Castle and Beckett were in the car together while Ryan and Esposito were in the car behind. Rick sat in the back continuously sneaking glances at the detective sitting in the front seat occasionally seeing her casually look at him through the rear view mirror causing him to smile.

A lot of looks were shared between the two ex lovers but not one word was spoken. The drive from the club to the 12th was silent; she had never seen him like this.

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><p>In the car behind the boys were dumbstruck as to what had just happened. Did Beckett offer to take a suspect in the back of her crown vic without backup?<p>

"What do you think is happening with Becks?" The Hispanic detective asked looking from his position in the driver's seat to his partner briefly.

"I dunno, she was acting a little weird at the party before" came the reply from Ryan a moment later.

"Yea, it's as if they all know each other from something in the past" "Dude, they definitely know each other. But as to how deep it goes, I don't know, but we need to find out"

Making a silent pact and a vocalised bet, $20 going to Ryan if they've slept together but $20 going to Espo if they were close to marriage, they had to find out what was going on… "Lanie!" they both said in unison

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><p>They all arrived back at the 12th, Kate, Ryan and Esposito all went back to look at the murder board while Castle was getting booked and hauled into the interrogation room by the officers.<p>

"He's ready when you are Detective Beckett" called one of the booking officers from the hall.

Beckett looked at her boys and walked towards the interview room. The boys gave a 'this will be interesting' look to one another and got up to watch through the one way mirror.

Kate walked into the interrogation room and Castle suddenly became much more alert.

"Hi, Kate" He said with a smile but she wanted to keep this professional. "Mr. Castle, you've been informed of your rights?" putting the Tisdale file on the table between them.

Castle nodded "You look good" he smiled at her again. She couldn't stop herself from smiling "You look good too" then BAM, right back into professional mode "for murder." Sitting down and taking out 4 different photos out of the folder.

"Do you know this girl?" "She's pretty" "She's dead, found like this" holding up the photo of Tisdale's murder scene "Flowers from your grave" he mumbled as he grabbed the picture. "Do you know her, maybe you met her at a book signing or club?" trying to beat around the bush she didn't ask the question she really wanted the answer to but he called her on it

"Could've done, I meet lots of pretty girls but she's not in my little black book because I know your curious" her cheeks were now tinted a shade of pink. Kate quickly changed the subject to hide her embarrassment "What about Mr. Fisk? Small claims lawyer" flashing him a photo of the victim Kate watched Rick look down at the photo then back to her grinning "most of my claims tend to be on the larger side" "he was found like this" flashing another photo to Castle "right out of Hell hath no fury" she continued. "Looks like I have a fan" looking towards Kate grinning "Yea, a really deranged fan" she retorted quickly "You don't look deranged."

Kate was confused by this statement and shot him a look "Oh come on Kate…" She cut him of "It's Detective Beckett" "Angry wickens out for blood, only hard core Castle groupies read that one…. Kate" he continued as if she hadn't even spoken.

Giving her one of his very charming and irresistible smiles again and she went a shade of pink, reaching over to grab her hand without her noticing he took hold of it and softened his voice to a whisper only audible to her

"Good to see your still reading all of my books, baby."

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><p>The boys in the observation room couldn't believe what they were seeing, Richard Castle was playing with fire, and Beckett didn't seem to care.<p>

As the interview came to a close, the boys decided to scatter, before they were caught.

On the other side of the glass, Beckett pulled her hand out of Castle's grip, got up and started to walk towards the door "You're free to go, Mr. Castle." Getting up and quickly walking behind her to put his hand up against the door to stop her from leaving. Beckett didn't realise how close he was until she whipped around to scold him and he was a few inches away. Backing away from Castle, Kate thought 'shit' as she hit the door. With his hand on one side of her and the wall on the other Beckett was trapped.

Castle grinned when he saw the panicked look appear on her face when she saw that he was getting as close as possible. He put both hands against the door, leaned in as close as possible without actually touching her and whispering in her ear "What if I don't want to go right now? What is I want to stay right here with you, my beautiful Katherine?" Castle took the lobe of her ear in his mouth then moved down the spot on her neck that knew drove her crazy.

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><p>Kate was getting nervous watching him lean in towards her but not grab for her. Then she felt him seductively whisper making her go weak in the knees. Kate thought she was doing well resisting his seductive ways until he sucked on her ear and placed open mouth kisses on her weak spot, that was the final straw as she let out a moan.<p>

"Rick…" she voice a little breathy as she was trying to resist him. Unintentionally, Kate moved her hips forward to meet and grind against his. One thought going through her mind, 'damn he was always got at this, he knows all the right buttons to press'.

"Rick…" she said again, her voice still weak and breathy. She heard him let out a groan as her breath blew across his ear and he ground his hips against her even harder. Coming out of her day dream and realising what they were doing and where they were doing it, Kate saw his distraction as an opening and took it. Castle was so preoccupied he didn't even realise that she was no longer pressed against the door but she was pressing him against the wall.

Kate put her hands on his cheeks pulling his head from his place on her neck and planting a kiss on his lips so that he would focus on her face and what she was saying "You have just been outsmarted" she stated with a coy smile on her face. "We are not going there again Castle and even if we were here is not the right place. Go Home, Rick…" Looking down to his now very alert groin and scraping a nail across his dress pants bringing out another growl "but first, fix yourself up" and with that Beckett walked out the door smiling to herself and 'damn he is so hot' going through her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this Chapter has taken me so long to write. I have had a really big and emotional week; my friend lost her baby a few hours after he was born due to his lungs not being strong enough and its been really hard. This chapter wasn't as long as I was planning it to be or exactly what I had planned out but it is an update and I was happy with it. I haven't proofed it so if you find any mistakes feel free to let me know and I will fix them asap.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

After coming out of the interrogation room alone looking a little messier, her shirt was crinkled a little, her hair a mess and was that a hickey on her neck, the boys looked at their boss like nothing was different.

She walked straight past them to the break room "Go home boys, I'll see you back here in the morning with fresh eyes." Knowing something was definitely up they just smiled at each other, shrugged their shoulders, grabbed their jackets and left.

Beckett was still in the break room sneaking glances through the half closed blinds when Castle finally emerged from the interrogation room looking slightly flushed but definitely better than what he did when she left him there.

Castle walked out of the room looking for Beckett, her work lamp and computer was still on so he knew she hadn't left but he couldn't see her anywhere. 'Maybe she went down to the gym to work out her frustration', 'maybe she is in the bathroom fixing herself up', 'maybe she didn't want to see me just in case she shot me', all these thoughts were running through his mind as he looked around.

Finally deciding that she clearly didn't want to see him again tonight he walked to her desk, finding a pen and a piece of paper scribbling down a note for her for when she returned and left.

Beckett watched him look around for her so much was going through her mind. She really wanted to go home with him and finish what he had started but she also knew that it couldn't and shouldn't happen. Knowing this, Kate decided that she would hide out there until he gave up and left. Looking through the closed blinds, Beckett saw Castle look for something on her desk; realising that he was grabbing a pen and paper Kate got curious and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth watching him scribble something down.

Finishing the note for his lost love, folding it and standing it in between the keys of the keyboard and leaning against the computer screen so it didn't end up in the rubbish by mistake, Castle met the uniformed officer waiting to escort him out and walked towards the elevator, entering it when the doors opened.

Beckett waited til she heard the ding of the elevator, signalling that the doors were closed and the car was moving she slowly moved out of the break room and over to her desk grabbing the folded piece of paper without looking at it she moved towards her captains office and poking her head in.

"Night, Captain. Ryan, Espo and I will be back in the morning with fresh eyes. Castle was a dead end, he clearly didn't murder our vics." She began to walk away when she heard the captains voice "Hold it, Detective. You wanna tell me what's going on between you and our potential suspect?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, sir. I interrogated him like I would anyone else in the same situation, what gives you the impression that something is going on?" looking at him confused, she tilted her head to the side slightly.

"Nothing major, Detective. You seem to forget I have known you since you were a street cop; I bought you into the twelfth and I trained you to be the detective you are now. I know your tells. Something is different with this one, you know it, I know it and your boys know it too"

"Nothing is different, sir. He was a suspect; he knew nothing of the murders so we let him go." Trying to stop the blush appearing on her face, she couldn't believe her Captain had just called her out.

"He is the author of the books, Beckett. He was the one that created the murders this psycho seems to be obsessed with." The Captain looked at her and could tell that she was holding back on something, but he knew if Beckett wanted to talk about something she was come to him when she was ready. Over the years Beckett had become like a daughter to him and he wanted to protect her like he protected his 2 babies at home, even though they weren't babies anymore.

"With all due respect sir, can you just get to the point. I'm tired and I just want to get home and come back in the morning to solve this for the Tisdale and Fisk family and catch the sucker before he has the chance to pull another family apart." Beckett was getting a little antsy as to where this conversation was heading and just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

"As I was saying, Beckett, he did create the crime scenes our killer is copying. He could prove useful to keep him around. He may see little differences in details that CSU might miss or something the killer has changed to send a message, even if our killer is trying to frame someone else. I think you should have him here just in case"

"No sir. He is not needed here. I know the books well enough and if we need him for little things he has given us his number and we can ring. But we definitely do not need him here permanently." 'I don't think I could handle it' went unvoiced but ran through her head. Looking at the Captain she hoped he wouldn't ask any questions as to why she was so reluctant to work with the author.

The Captain nodded and considered her answer "There is or was something between the two of you. I know that now, you have never even considered disregarding my suggestions" Beckett went to open her mouth and interrupt but he held his hand up stopping her "but I won't make you discuss it with me. As long as you stay impartial and don't let it affect the case you can stay as the investigating officer. Just know that I am here if you need an ear to listen, Kate."

"Thank you sir" Looking at the man that she thought of as a second father she nodded and walked away.

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><p><strong>You know what to do. Read and Review. I have a plan in my head as to what I want to happen but I would love to hear ideas as to where you guys want to happen.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Longest Chapter Yet... Booyah. Hi Guys, Sorry it has taken me so long to update. You know how it is, life gets in the way and you loose track of time. Hopefully you will enjoy this chapter. I was planning on including Beckett's point of view in this chapter but I really wanted to get this one up ASAP for you guys so that will happen next chapter with a few other events. I will shut up now so that you can read what I have written. Just remember to leave a review once you've finished reading :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

After spending 10 minutes searching for Beckett, Castle decided that she must not want to speak to him after the stunt he pulled in the interrogation room and left. The elevator ride down was slow and quiet, leaving him too much time to think which is never a good thing. Getting into the cab to head home it suddenly dawned on him, 'shit, the two way mirror. I really hope those other Detectives left when Kate started winding down the interview and didn't see what he had done.' Then his thoughts strayed to 9 years ago when she walked out. He must have been in deep thought because the next thing he knew the taxi was pulling up to his building and the driver was looking over to be paid. Handing him a few bills, Castle got out, greeted his doorman and headed towards the elevator to bring him up to his loft hoping Alexis and his Mother got home safely.

Walking into the loft he could hear that his mother was most definitely home and she bought someone with her. The strange male was sitting at the beautiful grand piano in the corner of the room playing while Martha was singing along to the theatre tune. Closing the door and walking down the hallway with a fake smile plastered on his face he heard "I'm just a gal that can't say no. I'm in a terrible fix. I always say come on, let's go. Just when I order…." Dancing, if you could call it that, she turned around and saw him.

"Hey Kiddo.. I'm just showing Burt here how we did it at the palace" Martha called. Clearly she was way past tipsy.

"Does he know it's your theme song?"

"Ahaha.. oooo" Punching the air lightly at her son she turned back to Burt.

"Ready to bring it home ducky?" he called from behind the piano and they both clicked themselves continuing the song.

Deciding it was his time to leave, Castle when in search for his daughter, who was sitting at the kitchen bench wearing her pyjamas with cotton balls in her ears studying.

Pulling one out, he surprises her "You're missing the late show" as he then walked around to look in the fridge.

"I saw it on previews" Alexis replied whipping her head around to follow her dad's movements.

Opening the fridge and grabbing out a can of whipped cream "Looks like we've got a new lead"

"His names Burt, he's magic" came Alexis' sarcastic reply.

"Let's hope he disappears by morning" sitting down and raising the whipped cream can to squirt some in his mouth he asks his daughter "so how come your up after midnight, it's a school night. Don't you turn into a pumpkin or something?" Waiting for a reply he continues to squirt a little cream onto his tongue.

"Not when your dad's been escorted away by cops; How was the slammer, anyone make you their bitch?"

Surprised at Alexis' statement he just looked at her, then held the whipped cream can above her head

"Baby Bird"

"Already Brushed"

"Your Loss" Squirting more cream in his mouth. Getting up from the bench to put the whipped cream away Alexis got his attention.

"Hey Dad" He knew with the way she stretched out his name she wanted to ask something important but didn't know how to ask.

"Yes Pumpkin"

"The female detective, what was her name… Be. Becky. Beckett" she stumbled out trying to remember what the name was. "Beckett, uhhh, Kate. Why did it seem like she knew me? I don't remember her, but Grams thinks I should, and she obviously remembers me. But I have no Idea who she is. Who is she, Dad. Why does she know me but I don't know her"

Rick was taken aback by his daughter's question. Did she really not remember Kate? Alexis was attached to her 24/7 when they were all living together.

"Uhh, you don't remember Kate, sweetheart?"

"Would I be asking you this if I remembered her Dad" she looked at him with a look that said 'duh' "Now please will you tell me who she is and what she is meant to mean to me… us… and what we or I mean to her?"

"Kate was the one that got away, pumpkin. We fell in love and dated for over 2 years. It was 9 years ago, she was 20, I was 28 and you were 4 when we started dating in March. When I introduced you to her in November, you immediately took to her, it actually surprised me. She became a big sister to you and then eventually a mother figure, which surprised me even more with her being so young, and as I recall you even wanted to start calling her mum but I told you to wait at least until I proposed."

Alexis sat on the kitchen stool just listening to her father's story about his lost love and a person that was clearly special to herself. Now that she thinks back to it she does remember someone living with her for her year in preschool and then for a little bit in grade 1. She also remembers her Grade one teacher, Mrs McCleary, pulling her into her lap giving her hugs and kissing the top of her head trying to calm her down while she was bawling her eyes out but couldn't remember why she was upset that day.

"Dad, was I really upset the day that Kate left? I remember something from grade 1. I remember being really upset and Mrs McCleary comforting me while I was crying."

"You were devastated sweetie. You wouldn't talk to me or Grams for a couple of weeks, you just wanted Kate back."

"What happened? Why did she leave?" Alexis asked with childlike innocence.

"That's a complicated story, pumpkin. I promise I will tell you another time but right now it is after midnight and you have school tomorrow. I think it is bedtime."

"Okay, Dad."

He got up and started walking down the hallway towards the study. When he heard Alexis get up and start running up behind him. Once she caught up, she grabbed onto his arm and allowed him to pull her, her sock clad feet skating across the hardwood floors.

"But on the way tell me what happened tonight or do I need to look it up on the fan sites?"

"Nope, we had a deal. Search all the internet you want but stay off the fan sites."

Castle pulled her round in front of him and started pushing her down the hall, again her socks making it easy for her to slide.

"Seriously, Dad. Are you in some sort of trouble?"

"Despite all my best effort, No, they want my help on a case." Castle let go of his daughter and jumped through the door into the study making Alexis smile and follow him.

"A case?" she asked in disbelief.

"Apparently, someone's been killing people the way I do in my books."

"That's horrible"

"Yeah"

"How many" her voice starting to gain a gloomy tone.

"Two so far" Getting down on his knees Castle started to look through his large bookcase for something while Alexis sat on a chair behind him.

"Are you okay" she asked, wanting to make sure that her Dad wasn't to 'bummed' about it.

"Yeah, it's just so senseless" he replied, now sounding as equally depressing as the red head sitting behind him.

"Murder usually is"

Castle got up from the ground holding two of his books; the two that the killer had mimicked his murders from and turned around to face his now intrigued daughter.

"No, Murder usually makes a great deal of sense. Passion, Greed, Politics. What's senseless here, is the books that the killer chose. 'Hell Hath No Fury' and 'Flowers for Your Grave' my truly lesser works. Why would a psychotic fan pick those?"

"Maybe because he's psychotic" Alexis answered with another 'duh' look on her face and shaking her head. Grabbing the books out of her father's hands and moving to get of the seat she looked at him and he at her

"Come on, like you said, it's bedtime. You can figure it out in the morning"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys; this chapter is full of internal dialouge. Kate is pretty much thinking to herself about things. I'm hoping to get Chapter 8 up in the next couple of days.**

**Sorry for the wait between Chapters 6 and 7; life got hectic again. I'm going away in 2 weeks for a week so hoping to have a few more chapters up by then.**

**How was that season premiere. AMAZING. So glad that the hiatus is over. Really looking forward to Tuesdays** (I'm in Australia) **to be able to watch it.**

**Anyways; Please read and review and I hope you enjoy.**

**xx K**

**Chapter 7**

Kate walked through the door of her lonely apartment after a very long night to get a few hours of shut eye before she had to head back to the precinct in 5 hours. Her usual routine went on without a hitch; keys, wallet and phone on the coffee table by the door and her weapon and badge placed carefully in the drawer between the lounge and bedroom.

Kate walked into the bedroom, carefully removing her mother's ring from her neck and her father's watch from her wrist placing them in a box that had a photo of her parents on the lid. Normally after a long day at work, Beckett loved to take a nice long hot bath but tonight, well this morning, she just wanted to climb into bed and sleep but hated sliding into bed with the day's dirt and grime still covering her nicely toned body so she jumped in the shower for a quick scrub. Once her short, dark brown hair was washed and her body clean she jumped out of the shower, dried herself off and changed into a pair of black tights, a black singlet and a larger off the shoulder shirt.

Walking around the bathroom to pick up after herself Kate picked up her jacket and threw it onto the chest of drawers to be hung up and picked up her jeans and top to through in the hamper. After years of washing important documents in the washing machine, Kate had gotten into the habit of checking the pockets of her pants before putting them in the dirty wash.

After the long drive home and the relaxing shower Beckett had completely forgotten about the note her ex-lover had left her until she pulled it out of her pocket during her nightly routine. She looked at the inscription on the front, it was only her name, but in his writing, to her it was beautiful. Only one other person alive today called her the name written on the front. There have only ever been three people in the world that called her Katie, her father, her mother and Rick. Everyone else went for Beckett, Kate sometimes even Katherine; even her best friend from school called her Becks. Katie was a special name to her and every time she heard it, in this case read it, it made her heart melt.

Sitting on her bed and opening the letter, Kate only had to read the first line before she felt the tears well up in her eyes. By the end she was crying, that was something that didn't happen a lot anymore. Over and Over she read the letter in her head, imagining his voice than she read it out loud just to etch it into her memory.

"_Dearest Katherine; I am so very sorry that I hurt you all those years ago. Please talk to me; you don't know the whole story, you never gave me a chance to tell you what I said to the book deal and research opportunity. I have and will always love you. Call me if you need details or 'fan mail' for the case; or if we can catch up for coffee and talk. Love you always; Your Ricky._

Kate refolded the letter and placed carefully on her bedside table grabbing her favourite Richard Castle book A Rose Forever After. This was her book; the proof that what they shared was real. This book was the most worn, the most read in her collection. Suddenly it dawned on her, if they were dealing with a serial killer basing all his or her murders on the crimes they read in these mystery novels she was clearly the only member of their team that know the books and the department isn't going to pay for a copy of every single Richard Castle book written, some of his earlier works weren't even being published anymore; it would take them ages to track them all down.

A lot was running through Kate's mind at this point.

'Ryan and Esposito need to familiarise themselves with all the murder scenes', 'I could take all my books in for them to read', 'Yeah, that'll work.'

By this time she was having a conversation with herself over these books then as she flipped through A Rose Forever After and stopped on the back of the dedication page she realised and thought 'Fuck. All of mine have very personal inscriptions from him. I can't take them in. The boys will know, and then the whole station will know. I can't do that. I've worked too hard to create my image. I can't have that following me around this whole case. But I really have no other option if I want the boys to familiarise themselves with all the crime scenes to be able to spot anymore'

The internal dialog running through Kate's head was starting to panic her, she then got up out of bed, went to the bookshelf to pack all the required novels into a box and then carefully emptied that packed box onto the floor. Kate felt she had to do this to protect her reputation at the 12th, not that she was ashamed of her past relationship with the writer but because she was a very private person and he was very public with a playboy attitude to those who didn't know him like she did.

Walking back to the spare room the detective grabbed a bunch of spare cardboard manila folders, scissors and the invisible tape. After grabbing these items she walked back to the lounge, where the books were dumped, sat on the floor and went to work.

It took her over an hour to complete the task she was working on but now that every book was now complete to her satisfaction and packed neatly into the box she climbed back into bed.

Once tucked up nicely in bed Kate couldn't exactly turn her brain off to go to sleep. That kiss, well make out session, was playing over and over through her head. She couldn't believe that Rick did that in the interrogation room, what if she hadn't order the boys to look through financials and phone records just to get them out of the observation room and they were in there watching.

She tried to be angry at him but god, that kiss was amazing. It really reminded her of old times living at the loft with him and Alexis. 'Alexis, she didn't remember me. I loved that little girl so much I still do. I wanted to give her a mother; I didn't want her to be me, 19 and motherless. I wanted to be there for her through everything she would need a mother for.' Kate was now getting upset, not at Alexis for not remembering but at the fact she wasn't remembered. Her brain didn't turn off but she was exhausted and went to sleep dreaming of the life she wished she could still live, but with a husband, not boyfriend, and a daughter maybe more.


	8. UPDATE ALERT

HI GUYS….. I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY THAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS TO BE UPDATED. I'M NOT GIVING UP ON IT, I SWEAR. IN FACT I'M RE-WRITING IT AND REPUBLISHING IT, HOPEFULY UNDER THE SAME NAME. PLEASE SUBSCRIBE FOR AUTHOUR UPDATES TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN I REPOST IT. I PREFER TO HAND WRITE THINGS BEFORE I TYPE THEM SO IT TAKES ME LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE (A LITTLE WEIRD BUT JUST THE WAY I DO THINGS) THANKS FOR YOUR CONTINUOUS SUPPORT


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